Can you keep a Secret?

By Achilles Wong

Can you Keep a Secret?

For sure this butterfly can

it keeps silent and still

as I carelessly blurt out each failure and triumph.

with an understanding flutter of wings it assures me

that everything I say will not go beyond

the colorful corners of the garden

it will be etched in its memory only for a few weeks

or perhaps, not even 24 hours after it mated.

As for this woof woman?

She can't.

She can never keep secrets.

Especially my secrets.

Unlike the butterfly, she prods me endlessly

nagging me,

until I blog about it.

No matter.

She will be very busy this week.

And I will be rid of her nagging,

and her baby talk.

She will be in Bohol for another business trip,

Riding a banca just like the one above.

And again, she might be back on Saturday, yet.

Leaving us with manong and our two other manangs.

And returning with nothing but only her shameless self

and a whole bunch of icky laundry.

And so with a heavy heart,

I share with you three of our most intimate secrets

For fear of being teased a scaredy cat

Secret no. 1:

I had really black underbelly

When I was a puppy, I had the blackest underbelly (It was almost as black as coal). It looked really funny since I was a whitish yellow Labrador. Manong was in denial and said that I might not be the one they picked because he didn't remember seeing me with uberly black underbelly. When I turned 6 though, the color lightened and it became a very faded black with hints of pink.

Secret no. 2:
I had only half of my tail covered in fur

When manong adopted me, half of my tail was not covered in fur. When I was a puppy, my Mommy accidentally stepped on my tail and it became limp and I couldn't even wag it for a bit. When manang and manong came to visit me though, they saw me and my tail and fell absolutely in love with me. My tail became manang's motivation to get me because she was worried no one would be willing to spend money and home a dog with a limp furless tail.

My name 'Achilles' was inspired by my handicap then- although they tweaked it a little from the Greek "Achilles' Heel" to my own version of the "Achilles' Tail"

Secret no. 3:

(manang, must I really?)

I'm a Monochrid....

Say what?

I'm a Monochrid...

I can't hear you, Achilles...

Ugh- okay, you woof woman !

I'm a Monochrid!!!

Okay. I have only one *bleep*. Manong is (again) in denial and thinks that I will grow the other one soon. But, I'm already nine months old and still I only have one *bleep*. Their major concern now, however, is that I do not develop tumors or abnormal growths from my Monochratidness. Manang thinks this is also in part, the reason why my.. eherm.. libido level is low. Unlike Belo and Max, who are almost my age, if not younger, I never had the urge to go "berserk" at the sight of any leg or anything akin to a female being, which is really good news for them and for our female visitors.

Okay.

That's about enough for me.

If you want to know Poopie's secret tune in next week...

Here's a little sneak peek...