The Gring Files

It was a Sunday afternoon, I woke up rather late after wasting away the night watching reruns from my laptop. I stretched myself like I normally would. Manang said I might still grow taller if I continue to do so. I don’t believe her really, nevertheless I developed the habit. My body felt good after stretching.

“Poopie?” I yawned, noticing that my sister was not in sight.

I paced our apartment, making sure that I covered every room, cabinet and crevice. Poopie was gone.

Hushed stirring sounds slowly emerged as I headed down to the kitchen.

Peering closely, I saw Poopie intently focused on the TV rack.

As I drew closer, I spotted a blurry orange figure at the corner of my eye.

Feigning injury, it managed to draw my sister dangerously closer.

I am perturbed. Why would my sister even think of going near that wretched thing. My inner gutt tells me NEVER to trust anything with glowing eyes.

Before I could have even moved a muscle, they both broke out into a full-blown fur brawl.

Is this the so-called skhiwrrel Khyra kept talking about?

I surmised, a few more seconds and Poopie would be a goner. So I hurriedly roused the hoomans for them to aptly deal with this new perpetrator.

“Manang, Manang, please hurry!! Poopie needs our help! Another alien has come to attack us!”

Startled and still cranky, the hooman dragged her feet to see what the commotion was all about.

“There it is manang… “ words fumbled out of my mouth. “There is Poopie’s attacker!”

The hooman followed the direction I was pointing at. Her eyes started to chink as she let out a good hearty laugh.

“It’s just Gring Gring!” she said as she drew some kibbles from our kibble bin and led the creature out. “he just came in for some food.” ... and then she dared give it a face scratch!!

With that, the hooman disappeared back into the snoozing room.

Truth is, I was disappointed- both at Poopie and the hoomans. So foolish of them to be so credulous. I may still not know what a “Gring Gring” is but I sure don’t trust it.

Only the frail minded would think it purportedly entered our house for the food.

Even mulling over the day’s events for the entire day would not set my mind at peace. I decided then, it was time to consult with my Aki cam.

The succeeding events left me dumbfounded.

Where was it going?

More aptly, what is it planning to do?



That fiend!


How crude. That was so not classy. Not classy at all.

Please tell me this bloggie is not going to the Gring Gring.

A very disturbed,

Aki

Who's Your Daddy?

Last Saturday, the world celebrated the importance of Mother Earth by turning off the lights for an hour starting 8:30 PM to 9:30 PM. By doing this, we are helping save countless numbers of kilowatt hours in energy consumption.

As dogs, we don’t really know much about all these electricity stuff, but we do know that if we save on energy generation, we also save on energy consumption and ultimately, the use of our natural resources, which are key and material in the generation of power and electricity.

In unison, the hoomans joined in the celebration of Earth Hour last Saturday. At exactly 8:30 PM, all lights were turned off and so, they had an hour-long romantic candlelit dinner. Poopie and I stayed behind and eased our selves whilst admiring the prominence of the moon as it shone proudly in the sky.

But before we celebrated Earth Hour, we celebrated LIFE.

Remember our friend Peachy? That beautiful dark brown dachshund living with our landlady in our apartment compound?

Peachy, Choychoy and Gring Gring (all residents of our compound) were my first furfriends. They were already there when we first moved and had been my playmates before Poopie came to live with us.

Sometime last year, Peachy gave birth to 5 beautiful dachshund puppies. We never got to see the puppies though because when the hoomans returned from work, they were told that she decided to “let go” of her babies.

That was more than 6 months ago. A few months back, she had her 2nd ‘heat’ (since our stay in The Ilonggo House, at least) and you can just imagine the level of insanity, not to mention, the noise, surrounding our compound.

Needless to say, a few months after, we found Peachy to be “shapelier” than usual.

Her hooman, Ms. Dams, would often bring her out in the morning before manang leaves for work. She would be left tied to a tree while Ms. Dams tidies up the patio of their house. This had been part of their routine for the last 2 months. Meanwhile, Peachy’s tummy grew rounder and rounder.

Manang and manong had a talk last Friday night over the circumstances surrounding Peachy. Out of nowhere, manang remarked that under her present condition, Peachy would end up giving birth in that tree, outside of our compound.

True enough, when Poopie and I went for our daily “business” in the morning, Ms. Dams and some neighbors were surrounding the very tree were Peachy was left in every morning. She had given birth to 1 very special black puppy. It had a really short and stumpy tail and a deformed nose and snout.

Poopie and I suggested to Ms. Dams to take Peachy inside the house because more puppies might come out. Leaving her to give birth outside would expose her to a lot of risks and threats. Thankfully, the hoomans headed our barks and brought her in.

We headed hurriedly towards our house and licked manong, yipping and yapping about the good news at the same time. By the time we came back to check on Peachy, she had already given birth to 2 more puppies. I suggested to manong that we make a sort of stable for her, just so as to give her babies a more comfortable place to stay in.

Super Manong did just that and came up with a makeshift birthing den out of this old box.


And just when we thought all was over and done with, we all witnesses, first hand, an actual birth.

Peachy gave birth to her 5th puppy right before our very eyes. It was graphic yet truly amazing to witness. Poopie fainted. She swore to keep her chastity belt intact for the rest of her young, adult and old Jack-tzu life.

All five puppies were black. It is still far too early to say, what they will look like when they get older. But the million dollar question remains…

Just Who Is Your Daddy?

A. A sexy gentlecat named Gring Gring

B. A devilishly good looking macho dog named Choychoy

C. An unidentified HOT Hunky yellow Labrador

Meeting Aeona

When I was a wee puppy, manang takes me to her office to play. One Sunday, they organized a pay-per-view boxing show featuring our national Boxer Manny "the Pacman" Pacquiao. She also talked with one of her officemates, Ms. Lorna, who happened to have a black labrador puppy named Aeona and both agreed to have a Sunday Doggie Date.

What is taking them so long?

I guess I'll just indulge in a little game of tag with the hoomans

Wooffy!! Aeona is here!!
Wow, she is so huge.

Too bad she doesn't understand what "Keep Off The Grass" meant..

Manong and I had a serious man to puppy boy talk

We promised to be bigger than Aeona in our next meeting.

When Woof Women Meow

by Achilles Wong

Since day one, the Ilonggo House had always been a house for dogs and dogs alone… Okay, maybe there are a few humans living there but still it IS a dog’s house, that is until…

Ummm… manang? We’re over here…

Surely, you can’t be serious.
That is a CAT!
I know. I know… it’s your LASIK, right?

Manang had just undergone LASIK last August. I think she is still suffering from blurring vision or something. That has got to be it. I can’t think of any possible reason for her behavior. Why would a bona fide woof woman such as her associate with the ‘enemy’? Aren’t dogs supposed to be enemies with cats, just like that in the TV?

This makes me sick… Just look at that orange ball of fur. He is basking in sheer joy… Manang never rubs my chin like that.

Arggghhh… Do I hear purring?
Why I! I never purr.
She doesn’t rub my chin enough to make me purr.
So what if I can’t purr.
The point is, she is rubbing his chin, which she never does to me.
Buhuhuhu…

Truth is, I never had problems with Gring Gring at all. I just think he is a little snotty for not wanting to play with me. Eversince we moved in, I had always wanted to play with him but I was comparably bigger and manang said my rough playing was not just cutting it. On the sidelines, I just contend myself with looking at him while manang feeds him yummy cat food.

Come to think of it, Gring Gring is one friendly cat. Manang said that I should try to understand him more because he doesn’t have a permanent home nor a family to cuddle with. He is a little aloof when inside the house and is not used to being cooped up indoors so manang cannot keep him especially since she is not too sure about how we can keep peace inside the house with me and Gring Gring around.

Manang allows Poopie to play with Gring Gring. Meanwhile, poor little me was left inside our cage even after I begged and promised her that I will try not to play too roughly. Surprisingly, the two teeny furballs hit it off quite nicely.

When Jack-tzu meets cat

In their cutesy cat vs. toy dog game of bitey face


manang, they're having a cat fight!

Poopie the vampire dog

In the end, it was: Poopie -1; Gring Gring- 2 and Aki- 3 hours of detention

Meeting Belo

Meeting Belo: An arranged marriage without my blessing
By The Pooper Scooper

If you remembered my manong Aki’s previous post on our Carbonara Day, we met a hooman named Ms. Giselle, who was actually very nice to me. She had then offered manang to have me sired by her Poodle, which the woof woman, refused profusely in a matter of milliseconds.

Last Sunday manang R’ received a call from Ms. Giselle, asking her if manang was around. Apparently, my husband-to-be, was having some skin problems after his short vacation to the countryside. She wanted manang to check him out. Now, manang is not a veterinarian but she knows a few things or two from constant conversation with my mommy secretary (of The Animal Doctor).

And so…

Hurry up with my bath manang… our guest will be here soon..

Woofs! Manang, someone is at the door!

Hello there? Have you come to visit me?

Our Guests: Ms. Giselle and Belo- the miniature poodle.

Belo reminds me so much of T-man. He was the first toy poodle that we personally met and we were awed by his extreme cuteness. His fur sort of matted though, but it was not normal matting. He had rashes all over and his skin was pink from irritation. He also had a few sores from constant scratching. Ms. Giselle had to wrap him with a shirt while making their way towards our house.

Manang thinks Belo might have eaten something that he shouldn’t have i.e. the infamous danggit (salty fish), crabs, shrimp, etc..

Manang was peering closely to assess the extent of the skin problem

Belo enjoying manong Aki's ball. See his reddish skin?

They kept insisting for me to play with him.. I said “NO WAY!”

I Just had my akai (akai means ‘red’ in Japanese) month and the hoomans are afraid I might end up a mommy at such an early age. Of course that will never happen because manong and manang had banned me from going out on dates without a chaperone. During my akai days, I was instructed to lie down to prevent any perpetrator from defiling my little Jack Russel/Shih-tzu body.

Poor Belo, I think his sore was really itchy. Manang took pity and gave Ms. Giselle a bottle of our extra cod liver oil. They also rummaged for some old x-ray films to use as a make-shift elizabethan collar while the vet was still closed (It was a Sunday) to prevent the rabid scratching.

This is what they came up with…

Voila! Elizabethan Belo.
What can I say, he loves sleeping.

Even with the crappy thing around his neck

Jack/Shih-tzu meets Toy Poodle

Manang R’ and me and Belo with Ms. Giselle


And what better way to cap the day...

Manong: Belo, that’s my leg!

Beware of Blind Dates

Back when we had Ford (which was like 2 months ago), my manang and manong would go to the park of the Ayala Business Park for their Saturday jogging. You see, my hoomans do not have a car here in Cebu City since they are only renting out an apartment and rely purely on public transport to get to places so we rarely get to go around the City. Their permanent residence is in Bacolod City which is in a different island and is some 221.25 km away.

Manang’s friend, the hooman known only as Attorney had been going to the park with her hooman children and their malshi sibling, Max. Now, I’ve never met Max before. I only heard of stories about him and his hooman sister Abby and brother, Vincent. Manang never saw Max personally at that time, too, except maybe for some baby pictures. Our relationship with max was similar to the one we have with our other DWB friends- we never get to rub noses and exchange drooly kisses, but we are good friends, we genuinely feel each others’ joys, triumphs, grief, despair, loneliness, etc.

Manang, which one is Max?

This was taken when he first arrived in Attorney's house

Manang feels especially close to Max because she had been very supportive of the idea of Abby getting a dog. Back then Abby was not allowed to get a dog but she was soon able to convince Attorney to get Max. Needless to say, everyone was very happy. Abby was only about 10 years old at that time. Attorney would often ask manang for advice and they would exchange stories about Max and me. :)

One day, Max and Abby’s hooman father came home from the U.S and he brought with him oodles of presents for Max- toys, clothes, treats, shoes, etc. They were even kind enough to give me a pair of doggie boots, which unfortunately didn’t fit me so manang brought it to Bacolod and gave it to my brother Heinz, instead.

When Attorney told manang that they would go to the park on Saturday, the woof woman got all excited and proceeded to give me a bath. She even attempted to cut my nails at 12:00 midnight in sheer excitement just to shriek in pity when blood from the nerves in my nail gushed out. She had never seen Max and she was genuinely elated to meet him. She was also excited at the idea of bringing me to the park (thank you Ford!) and meet other strolling doggies.

The hoomans woke up around 6:00 in the morning and got me all prepped and ready to go. The crazy woof woman kept forgetting things i.e. my water dish, towel, ball etc. that manong and I had to wait with Ford outside for some 15 minutes or so. In my excitement I jumped off the back of Ford and scraped my chin which meant more injuries for me and even more worry warts for manang and manong.

We were finally able to make our way to the park and lo…

Manang, who is that strange creature?

Hellow there! My name is Aki, what’s yours?
You’re Max, aren’t you.

After a few minutes of introduction we started to become comfortable with each other. The hoomans were very happy. Attorney’s family was very impressed about how well behaved I was. Even the hooman puppies played with me. They stroked my fur, walked me, gave me water and some treats and played fetch. At one point I even shook hands with them and demonstrated some of my neat tricks. Everyone was muttering ‘what a friendly dog’ and ‘he is so gentle’- of course, my ears were flapping. Hahahaha…

I even heard kuya Vincent say to manang… “His ears are so long, his tongue is so long, his paws are so big, I swear he is the biggest dog I’ve ever seen. But he is very friendly.”

Ate Abby and Kuya Vincent (Ford at the background)

Max and I played with my ball. We dived into the water (from the gutter- unfortunately) and got all wet and muddy- what fun! Ate Abby was saying that ‘this is the dirtiest Max I’ve ever seen.”

Dirrrrttyy Max...

You don’t have to thank me ate Abby. It was all part of the day’s work. Hehehe..

But then, just when you thought a stranger was no longer a stranger…

Max? What are you doing?

Is there something on my back?

The queer hound was sniffing like crazy.
What is with all that sniffing?

I took a bath yesterday, okay!


Eeeepppsss!
What are you doing you crazy hound?!
Get off me!
I’m a boy, for heaven’s sake!
Would somebody please arrest this molester?!

And so I say: Always beware of blind dates.
Never trust a stranger even if you are a boy, not unless you come with your own chastity belts.

If there’s any consolation to all of these, it is that manang and manong dropped by the bank after our morning jog for some breakkie. And since I already finished mine, I get to eat some...

Hmmm... this is yummy...

What's this stuff called manong?

Do you know what this is manang?

Vanilla ICE CREAM!!!