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September 29, 2008

Doggie Court Update: Poopie and Aki in Exile

Doggie Dreams in Exile
By the Pooper Scooper

September 27, 2008

I joined manong Aki in exile to Manang’s room last Saturday night. Manong Aki had been sleeping there for more than a week now. The Hall of Doggone Justice made that ruling after my manong sought for temporary relief from his worsening sniffles.

Upon arriving at Manang's room
An hour later
(Thanks to the Tick Alarm Episode last weekend, we were out on bail for a few days.)

The news was relayed to me by the Presiding Judge, who refused to be identified, for his protection. Excerpts of the said decision were as follows:

“…That Mr. Achilles Wong and Ms. Poopie du Claun shall be held in exile from Mr. Manong’s room every Tuesdays to Saturdays or in the case of their non-weekly baths, starting on the 3rd day of their last bath..

….That during the time of exile, they shall sleep in the room of Ms. Manang, and shall continue to do so until they are given a bath.”

Manong Aki and I feel especially sad. Since the time we arrived in the Ilonggo House, we had been sleeping with my manong. We don’t enjoy sleeping with manang (her room is in the 2nd floor) because we do not fancy the idea of going up and down the long flights of stairs.

Not to mention, her mattress is not exactly within reach. Where would we rest our fluffy little heads?

And how about our routine? I’m already so used to laying my head bellow manong’s feet. I love to sleep there. It was where manong Aki used to sleep when he was still not a cow.

Manong sleeps in a Japanese- style mattress. We sleep inside his room always, except for two or three occasions when he can no longer take the sniffles. You see, manong has a bad case of allergies and always ends up sneezing the whole week when our doggie smell starts to blow out of proportion. It even worsens when manong Aki’s cottony soft fur circulates inside his room.

Inside Manong's Room

My manang had been very happy about the ruling though. She gave us a pillow and some sheets to sleep on. She even brings my sleeping cage and our doggie dish inside the room so we would feel at home. On more desperate occasions, she encourages manong Aki to climb up her bed and sleep with her. I can’t be trusted with a bed, except manong’s bed now. I peed on his bed three times before… hihihi

I heard manang complaining about not getting enough sleep during manong Aki’s first two nights, though. He woke her up really early. And she had to wake up every time my manong Aki shifts his sleeping position because she is afraid he’ll poo or pee. Call it Paranoia. Silly hoomans.

Aki by 12 Midnight
Aki by 1: 00 AM
Aki by 2:00 AM

3:00 AM until 6:00 AM

She doesn’t have to worry about manong Aki peeing though. I already peed on his behalf.

September 26, 2008

Worry-full Week

Our Pooper Scooper is very weak today. We don't know if she is or isn't. She had been going in and out of this weak mode since Sunday. We had a check-up with the Doc last Tuesday evening and he said her temperature is okay. We also had her check for Ehrlichiosis and it was negative. CBC likewise returned normal results except for a slightly high level of Lymphocytes.

Per online consultation with The Animal Doctor (thru the help of my ultra cool Mommy Lilli), it might be something viral. Meantime, she is taking her Amoxicillin and Vitamin C twice a day to strengthen her immune system.

As of Wednesday she was already up and about like a bouncing ball. She was also eating like crazy. She kept doing her 'Please' dance and had even extended a helping hand in the rehabilitation of a doggie pooh human who kept whining about having dog trauma. We had a successful Carbonara Day last Wednesday.

Poopie with the supposedly dog-traumatized hooman

Yesterday she was bursting withe energy. She ate her doggie meal, had some burgers and even ate some bacon treats. She was even up at around 12 midnight wreacking havoc in the Ilonggo House.

Her latest victim- a stripe shoe which was supposed to be a gift for manang's niece.

This morning though. She wasn't eating again. Manang had to use her "pigeon feeding" skills again just to make eating interesting for her. Still no appetite.

She waited and waited until manong left. My sneaky manang had to open some canned tuna to feed Poopie. Still no appetite.

She scrimaged for more food until she found some pork and beans. Still no appetite.

Manang cried in frustration. It was already almost 7:30 and she was absurdly late. Despite her better judgment she tried to tempt Poopie into eating some cat food. Poopie normally loves cat food but she was not allowed to eat it for obvious reasons. Still no appetite.

Poopie eating like a Pigeon

She was able to eat a few kibbles this morning. Manang did not give her her vitamins because she cannot take it on an empty (or half empty) stomach.

Today we will be going to the Doctor again. Manang doesn't really want to bring her to the Doc again because she doesn't like seeing Poopie in pain when the needle pierces through her skin. I, on the other hand, am a much braver boy. I wish I could give Poopie more encouragement. I wish I can help Poopie feel less pain when being injected.

I love my sister very much.

She makes waiting for the hoomans to come home less boring

She entertains me with her nonsensical stories

We have grown together.

I saw her morph from a rat-looking, highly questionable shih-tzu to the Pretty Pooper Scooper that she is.

Pre- Ilonggo House Poopie

Poopie NOW

Manang is crying. Her pea-sized brain is full of worry.

This had been a very tough week... Manang kept suffering from a LASIK- related (?) migraine for a week now... We had a nasty bout with the Evil Ticks from Down Under... Our hoomans captured and executed a total of 300 last Sunday... And my Pooper Scooper is not her Poopster self.

If dogs are equipped for leaking, I have leaked a long time ago.

September 25, 2008

Puppy Curiousity

(note from Aki: Sorry. My manang is too lazy to move her stubby paws today. It has been a rough week with the tick infestation and Poopie being sick and all.)

September 23, 2008

The Mad Dog Dash

The Mad Dog Dash
by The Pooper Scooper

Just last week, the Ilonggo House held its first ever Mad Dog Dash Competition. It was a slobbery feast. We had the usual la-de-da dinner, some roasted pig bones and of course, oodles and oodles of drool-dripping fun!

There were 3 official races with the following official pawticipants:

Race 1: Manang, Aki, Poopie
Race 2: Manong, Aki, Poopie

The Race 2 panticipants pose for a pretty (and sweaty) picture

Race 3: Manang, Aki, Poopie

I pride myself to be joining all 3 competitions. I had been secretly practicing for this day. Afterall, I have in me the blood of a Jack Russel Terrier. I was born to race.

Ready, Get Set, GO!!!

And we’re off!

This is not the race track?

And once again, after much shame,

Ready, Get Set, GO!!!

Race No. 1: Aki vs. Manang vs. Poopie

1st Place: Manang

2nd Place: Aki

3rd Place: Poopie

Upon the suggestion of our mad Labrador racer, we stopped for a water break.

He kept muttering that he was a little dehydrated that’s why his performance was not up to par-phooey!

Race No. 2: Aki vs. Manong vs. Poopie

1st Place: Aki

2nd Place: Manong

3rd Place: Poopie

Manong tried to console me. He felt bad that I came in at 3rd place again.

It’s not a biggie manong,

I’m gonna be 1st in this last race!

Amidst the drama, somewhere near the starting line was our new 1st placer.
On yet another water break

“Water is my Gatorade”

I heard him say between the slurps and drools.

Race No. 3: Aki vs. Manang vs. Poopie

This is it!
The rematch of all rematch.
Here I shall claim my victory!

Ready, Get Set, GO!!!

1st Place: Aki

2nd Place: Manong

And what do you know…

Surprise, surprise...

3rd Place: Poopie

It’s okay.
After all, I may not really be half Jack.
Shih- Tzu’s are delicate, peaceful and feminine puppies.
My life is inside the Ilonggo House.


Everyone was panting
Everyone was drooling
Everyone smells like dog.
Until we race again!

(Note from The Inu Ogler: There would have been a 4th race, had Mr. Achilles not toppled our ‘water jug’ and flooded the race track.)

September 22, 2008

Rain of Treats

I’m so happy this week.
And I thought I was already happy last Tuesday.
I guess my drool charm, as Sweepy would call it,
was making its magic work for me
and oh! What drooly magical it was.

Manang arrived last Tuesday evening with that usual
Boring yellow plastic bag
I’d usually sniff at it to look for some treats
But they always manage to keep it out of sight.

It was only after my spy (and also my sister) Poopie
Told me that they were stashing some doggie loot inside manong’s room
And indeed there it was…

Doggie treats, a new coat comb and of course,
my very own Tooth Brush

Manang had been looking for it for a very long time.
Ah. Now I can have an impeccable doggie breath
No more hissing sounds from the woof women in the Ilonggo House

After tonight
After all the brushing,
And gum massaging,
I will visit every room,
Sniff at every corner
And give each boring hooman
A taste of my newly improved kurukukoy smoochie

But what’s this?

Yesterday my manang and manong arrived carrying a new plastic bag
Could it be?
Be still my paws
Drool not thy tongue
Something from within beckons me

“Aki….. Save us Aki…”

Oh glorious heavens!
Why does my drool drip like a broken faucet?
Gushing like a river.

What could have caused thy senses to go haywire?


A Bag of Vita Bone Treats in seven delectable flavors..
Purina Chew eez Rolls

My Venus!
These are perfect.
I feel like crying.

Hold on.

I know that contact lens cleaner is not mine
Nor is that icky looking weed stuff

(Note from the Inu Ogler: It’s actually a sea weed snack)

Manong told me we can’t have the Pik Nik either
It was too salty for us

But, what is this?

Manang! What is this CAT FOOD doing here?!

The genius in me thought of a plan
Since there are too many doggie treats this week,
Why don’t we divide it equally?
And just so, I won't be accused of being unfair.

let's use this boolean expression:

if(Poopie>Aki,'All the Treats',

if(Poopie>Gring gring,'Beggin Strips','Cat Food'))

Well, what do you know...


However, in the spirit of sportsmanship

And to prevent the wagging of dripping tongues

for all these,
I am willing to do the dishes

Drooly Doggie Court Battle

Manang had been saying that I’ve been pretty destructive lately.
They alleged that I did this to our house every morning.
That’s why I’ve been put on exile for the past 4 nights.

A smart dog like me knows which facts are true.
I’d say I agree on the ‘pretty’ part
But Destructive?
No drooling way!

I say, show me evidence!
Doggie court cannot put to prison an innocent dog

I demand bail!
Those Chew eez will do just fine.

Ms. Secretary, you are a lawyer aren’t you?
Do you think a sweet puppy boy like me

should be put to doggie prison?

My smart manong Heinz said they

Not unless there is a teeth-sinking,

Shoe sole shattering

Chair tumbling,

Paper scattering


So what if they have all.

I’m getting back to my defense.

I am a handsome puppy boy.

And handsome puppy boys

CAN get away with anything.

Now, can someone looking like this be GUILTY?