What's In a Name?

Top Ten Pet Names

By Prof. Heinz Hummer, DDP

I take great pride in my name—Professor Heinz(tein) Hummer, DDM… Why, you say? It’s because my name speaks so much about me. It isn’t just a coincidence that my name sounds so much like that of Mr. Einstein and that wiz kid doctor guy from before-- Doggie Schnauzer, M.D. A podsing’s name is not something that hoomans just pick right out off the condiments rack. It is a result of a well thought out process arising from a series of highly intellectual and not so intellectual conversations with other hoomans, podsings and even catsings.

A dog’s name is something that encapsulates his/her personality. For example, I identify myself with the name “Heinz” or “Heinztein”. Then again, a ruggedly handsome boy like me can also be called “Salvador”, not to shabby, I might say. Other names, which I am not so thrilled about though, (and I really put all of my paws down on this!) are “Ang Lapat”, “Ang Mop” and “Ang Trapo”. I don’t know what these hoomans have for brains, really. What’s with all these Chinese Names? Don’t they know that I am German? Tsk tsk tsk… I’m calling out to my manang, manong2 and manong3 to PLEASE READ YOUR DOGGIE BOOKS- they are all there for a reason!

Anyhowl, here are the TOP 10 PET NAMES, which I’ve read from the Time For Kids (and Puppies) Almanac 2008:

1. Max (My brother Aki’s friend—Max Nunag! Hellooow Ate Abby! Hellooow Kuya Vincent!)

2. Sam
3. Lady
4. Bear (What my manong3 calls my sister Cao Cao—drool)

5. Smokey
6. Shadow (Lookie here! This was Max’ Brother)
7. Kitty (Isn’t she the nice hoooman lady who brought you to that cool subdivision with a beach, Aki?)
8. Molly
9. Buddy
10. Brandy

Wooooffy! My name is unique.. Then again, all of my siblings’ are too!! Congratulations you puppies! Does this mean we won’t have any trouble getting our National Bulldogs of Investigation (NBI) Clearances?

Source: American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals’ (ASPCA) survey of popular pet names in the U.S (Keep up the Great Job, you guys!).

Note from Aki: I think the place was called Corona del Mar