By Prof. Heinz Hummer, DDP
In my entire study of Doggie Psychology, most of my male clients confessed to be bothered by almost the same issue- being teased as a MONOCHRID.
What is a Monochrid?
I have heard of this word in various occasions and concerning various doggieviduals. Some of my closest kins who were called as such were my brothers, Severino “750” Pepito, Askalon and most recently, Achilles. I am most fortunate to not be called a “monochrid”, or prior to my manang’s consultation with me- a “monotesticled” or “monotoothered” doggie pooh. I believe my manong2 and manong3 in Bacolod City use the more profane term to describe such a condition. However, my intellectual self could not possibly permit such a vulgar word so I’m bleeping it.
Monochrid - only one testicle dropped into scrotum, one retained in the abdomen
However, let me caution all you hoomans before you start calling your podsings a monochrid. Most dogs do not normally show both toothers while they are still puppies. Usually, it would appears as a single toother as in the case of my brother, Severino Pepito (see the wuss looking choco boy posing with my Tatay, below) who suffered the indignation of being teased as a monotoothered podsing since he was 2 (months old). When he reached 10 however, his toother started to become two which I believe, he received with so much pride and arrogance that he started to show off and impress his masculinity upon all the podsings in The Runt House.
Note from the Inu Ogler: Shortly after Prof. Hummer posted this article, he received a livid peemail from his brother, Severino Pepito, threatening him of a case to be filed in the Hall of Doggone Justice. Apparently, the consultation of Mr. Pepito with Prof. Hummer was covered by the latter’s Privileged Communication/ Confidential Relationship. Prof. Hummer is currently working out an amicable settlement over the said case.
When asked if they would like to file cases against Prof. Hummer on account of their inclusion in his latest article, both Mr. Askalon and Mr. Achilles gave the following look…